How to kill a hyacinth in five easy steps

They called me the hyacinth girl...and then it was all taken away. I discovered that, just like a butterfly, a hyacinth will bloom but once, indoors, and then the blossoms will fade away, and the plant will live on as shoots of green emerging from a dark and loamy soil, taunting with the merest hint of bloom, the merest hint of its erstwhile scent, but never fulfilling its false promise of renewed buds. Of course, according to hyacinth.com, all that would change if I were to transplant my beloved hyacinth, first beacon of spring, and of Easter, to an out-of-doors location. Put it in its natural environment, hyacinth.com says, and all will be well. But where would I put it? I'm not renting one of the garden plots, and it's probably too soon now, anyway, to put it outside; still somewhat frigid. Maybe I'll take it home and put it by the window, and when it gets a little warmer (the weather, that is, not my hyacinth), then I'll put it in a bigger pot and move it outside, on the porch. Then maybe it will look better.